1. Introduction

I was raised as a boy in Boise, Idaho, and in Primary, I sang of Heavenly Father and His Son. Heavenly Mother, by contrast, was only whispered about, as if She was a rumor. I was discouraged from asking questions or pondering on Her, which taught me that there was a sort of “sacred hush” that surrounded Her. I knew so little about Her that I was unsure if there was one Heavenly Mother or many, which was a real concern considering our history with polygamy.

As I grew older, my perceptions of Divinity changed and became less anthropomorphic and more pantheistic. However, my perception of Divinity underwent another change in 2021, when I spent a summer at “Man School” with my little brother, where I taught him things like how to tie a tie, mow a lawn, and shave. Throughout these lessons, I began to examine what exactly it meant to be a man.

The stock answers – such as “strength” and “honor” – felt unsatisfactory because women also embody those traits. I realized masculinity is largely shaped by individual perception and societal norms, and I largely associated it with “bro culture” – sports, cars, whiskey, and guns, which I’ve never connected with. By contrast, I felt quite connected to qualities I view as more feminine, such as emotional maturity and appreciation of beauty. Tugging on that thread ultimately led me to realize that I am a transgender woman.

If my femininity deserved to be known, surely God’s femininity deserved to be known as well, so I went searching for Her. Unfortunately, most institutional churches only offered a few breadcrumbs. Some sources – such as the notorious article “How to Worship Our Mother in Heaven (Without Getting Excommunicated)” – seemed to suggest that simply knowing She existed was enough worship. I felt like this was only slightly better than the “sacred hush”, and it certainly wasn’t enough for me.

As I explored and connected with my femininity, I needed more tangible ways to connect with Divine Femininity. Over the last few years, my worship has been expressed in three ways:

• Research & Education: Unearthing Her names, stories, and appearances in scripture, history, and ancient practices.
• Creating: Crafting new scripture, art, and theology that centers Her.
• Practice: Shaping and participating in rituals that gather friends and family around Her.

This morning, I would like to show you what this journey has looked like for me as a transgender Mormon. I hope I can convey what my worship looks like, and it inspires you to give yourself permission to speak to, sing to, and celebrate our Heavenly Mother out loud.

2. Research & Education

To know Heavenly Mother, I believe we should learn from as many sources as we can. First, I will explore biblical scholarship and historical references, illustrating Her ancient presence and worship. Following this, I highlight distinctive insights from the Restoration tradition, showing how Mormon communities have uniquely envisioned, discussed, and revered Heavenly Mother.

2.1. Bible

My initial exploration into Heavenly Mother began simply by Googling things like “Divine Feminine”. I was delighted to find Her featured prominently in a video from Religion for Breakfast, hosted by religious scholar Dr. Andrew M. Henry. The video, aptly titled “YHWH Had a Wife?” provided a concise yet enlightening overview of scholarly research about the goddess named Asherah.

Dr. Henry discussed a decommissioned temple at Tel Arad, featuring two altars – one dedicated to the God El (YHWH) and another presumably for His wife, Asherah. He also highlighted ancient inscriptions that spoke of YHWH with “His Asherah”. YHWH and Asherah were even depicted as being a couple linked arm-in-arm on the jar found in Kuntillet’ Ajrud. Guided by Dr. Henry’s recommendations, I further explored the works of prominent scholars, such as William Dever and Judith Hadley.

One notable point Dr. Henry raised was Asherah’s presence in the Bible itself – something I initially overlooked, recalling Her primarily depicted negatively as a “false god.” According to Henry, this shift from polytheism to monolatry arose through King Josiah’s reforms. Our own Dr. Dan McClellan has also provided further insight into this transition, which is known as “the Deuteronomistic Reforms.” In short, these reforms began under King Hezekiah of Judah during the Assyrian invasion. Hezekiah decommissioned local temples by burying them, with the intention to restore them after the war. Though briefly revived by his successors, Josiah permanently centralized worship in Jerusalem, bolstering his city’s economic and religious influence. Conveniently, priests under Josiah “discovered” texts advocating exclusive worship of YHWH and branding other deities like Asherah as idols. Consequently, many documents and stories related to Asherah were edited, suppressed, or destroyed.

Despite these efforts to completely erase Asherah, She is still mentioned many times in the Bible, albeit with a condemnatory and dismissive attitude. In my studies, I believe I have identified at least 70 references or allusions to Her in the Bible, from which I have learned about some of her names, titles, and how she was worshipped, which we’ll cover in a bit.

2.2. Restoration Tradition

While the Bible is a wonderful book of Scripture, as a Mormon, I also look beyond it. In the Restoration, we have a wonderful tradition of doctrinal innovation, and so I sought to learn what our tradition specifically has said about Heavenly Mother.

2.2.1. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

While the LDS branch of Mormonism perhaps has the most written about Heavenly Mother, they also have practically nothing that is considered official about Her. She is occasionally mentioned or alluded to, but in terms of long-lasting worship materials, there are only a couple of things that mention Her. Due to the sporadic mentions and little solid content around Her, many LDS folks have assumed that we aren’t supposed to talk about Her; some even calling it a “Sacred Hush”, which again was my experience growing up. However, BYU’s 2011 historical survey, entitled “A Mother There,” has illustrated that there are no such official statements prohibiting discussion of Her.

Early Pioneer-era theology significantly impacted the discourse on Heavenly Mother. Brigham Young taught a peculiar understanding of Heavenly Father – specifically that He is Adam – and as a result of this, Eve was positioned as Heavenly Mother, or at least one of them. While Eliza R. Snow is perhaps best known for her poem “Invocation, or The Eternal Father and Mother” – which is now the hymn called “O My Father” – she spoke so frequently about Heavenly Mother that Joseph F. Smith had to publicly clarify that she was not the one who revealed this doctrine. Snow was fond of the idea of identifying Eve as our Heavenly Mother, and I’d like to recount an excerpt from her poem “Instructions on the Priesthood“, which articulates this well:

Obedience will the same bright garland weave
As it has done for your great mother, Eve,

For all her daughters on the earth, who will
All my requirements sacredly fulfil.

And what to Eve, tho’ in her mortal life
She’d been the first, the tenth, or fiftieth wife?

What did she care when in her lowest state,
Whether by fools, consider’d small or great?

‘ Twas all the same to her—she prov’d her worth—
She’s now the goddess and the queen of earth.

However, when the LDS church began to distance itself from the Adam-God doctrine, the Eve-Goddess aspect of this doctrine was largely forgotten.

Modern efforts to discuss Heavenly Mother range from harshly punished voices like Janice Allred, Margaret Toscano, and Gail T. Houston – who faced workplace termination or excommunication – to Kathryn Knight Sontagg, Carol Lynn Pearson, and Daniel Peterson, whose writings were either tolerated or accepted.

Of particular note among these theologians is Janice Allred, whose 1994 Dialogue article, entitled “Toward a Mormon Theology of God the Mother,” suggested that Heavenly Mother is the Holy Spirit, thus reshaping the traditional male-centric Godhead into a Divine nuclear family. This view has been widely accepted as a folk belief, and was recently highlighted and expounded upon in Sharlee Mullins Glenn’s book “Brighter and Brighter Until the Perfect Day.“

2.2.2. Restoration Church of Jesus Christ

There have been hundreds of expressions of Mormonism, but one of my favorites is “The Restoration Church of Jesus Christ”, or “RCJC” for short. This was a church that split off from the mainstream LDS church in the mid-1980s and was primarily composed of and catered to LGBT folks.

Amazingly, the earliest scripture that I could find that explicitly references Heavenly Mother is a revelation given through this little church. A man named LeMar Hamilton had a revelation on April 3rd, 1986, in which Heavenly Mother directly spoke to him. This revelation was canonized in their scripture called “Hidden Treasures and Promises” and is numbered as section 20. This book of scripture is a collection of revelations quite similar to the Doctrine and Covenants, but it has many people contributing revelations to it. Brother Hamilton’s revelation suggests that the Godhead is composed of 4 people: God the Father, God the Mother, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit.

Instead of a “Thus saith the Lord”, section 20 is a sort of “Thus saith the Lady” type revelation. Considering its historical significance, and that many people have not heard what Heavenly Mother has explicitly revealed through revelation before, I would like to recount those verses in full:

12. Hear now your Mother in Heaven: my son, you have, as a child wondered about me. Your eyes have been closed to me by the teachings of thy brothers on earth. They thought themselves superior to thy sisters because of their physical strength and created doctrines, laws, and practices both secular and religious to enslave and diminish.

13. At times and places thy sisters triumphed and ruled over families and nations. Many are great women of the earth who have reigned supreme in their realm and wielded great influence on men and nations.

14. Now love your sisters, heal their hurts and hold them as equals just as sons of loving parents respect their sisters.

15. Was polygamy an abomination? We answer both yes and no. The practice is divine in origin, but women were never meant to be subservient to men. Women were to be equals and were to be sovereign over their families.

16. It was when the man exercised unnecessary dominion and became neglectful that the practice was halted in the main. Woe to them anywhere in the world who subvert Our will regarding this practice.

17. Now, wince no more, my son, and be not embarrassed that my children wish to address me in prayer. You understand Our love for all Our children, especially for Our Little Flock.

18. Did you not approach your earthly mother for solace when your father’s was not enough? Deny not my pleasure. Instead, teach my children that I Am and that I am anxious to answer. Amen.

I was floored when I realized that the first time Heavenly Mother’s explicit words were canonized in scripture She condemned misogyny, condemned unethical non-monogamy (but not non-monogamy as a whole), and encouraged people to pray to Her when they needed Her.

However, in section 22 of Hidden Treasures and Promises, the conception of Heavenly Mother was expounded even further, when Antonio Feliz taught:

“The names “Heavenly Father” and “Heavenly Mother” and all other names for deity are titles or offices and refer not to specific persons of that gender. Thus any couple, without regard to the physical gender of either spouse… could thus serve in these functions”

“I am a child of Gods.
I have a queer Mother,
and a straight Mother.
I have a bi Mother
and intersex Mother too.
I have two gay Fathers,
along with a trans Heavenly Father
and a trans Heavenly Mother.
I have non-binary Parents as well,
because we all have a place in the heavens.
If children grow up to be like their Parents,
I am no exception.

I inherited divine qualities
from my queer Mother.
Her children were not birthed
between her thighs,
but through a slit in her abdomen.
She sings to her sleeping children,
hoping they will recall her lullaby
when they awake.
She whispers softly,
“I have said ye are gods,
and all of you are children
of the most High.”

Sometimes, my Mothers and I
have long talks late at night.
My lesbian Mothers tell me
about the day they were sealed,
and how women pulled women through veils.
My bi Mother tells me how she pulled all Her
spouses through the veil.
My straight Mother confirms,
“It’s true. I was a witness.”
Their stories make me smile.
None of my Mothers are the same,
but each are connected in a Heavenly Family.

Even my Heavenly Mothers
don’t know for certain
who the first Mother was,
nor if there will there be a last Mother.
Maybe there is no first Mother.
Mothers are birthed
and give birth in an eternal round.
Together they weave the tapestry of eternity.
Mothers within Mothers
create life without end
through godly transformation.
Surely, I am a child of Gods.”

2.2.3. Church of Jesus Christ in Christian Fellowship

From my research, the Mormon church that has the most writings, revelations, and scriptures about Heavenly Mother is The Church of Jesus Christ in Christian Fellowship. “The Fellowship” is a small group that accepts the teachings from multiple figures, including those who arose during the succession crisis. The Fellowship has canonized Strangite, Josephite, Rigdonite, and Brighamite scriptures, as well as created their own.

The theology of this church is explicitly inclusive of the Divine Feminine, and Heavenly Mother has been openly talked about since the church’s inception over a decade ago. Much like the Restoration Church of Jesus Christ, they see “God” as a name for a group of 4 people, and they encourage you to see and to pray to Them as such. This church has such an affinity for Heavenly Mother that their first Article of Faith says:

“We believe in God the Eternal Father and Eternal Mother, and in the Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost.”

This reverence for the Divine Feminine isn’t merely symbolic; women are actively included and honored in every aspect of church life. The church has 2 co-presidents, and one is Kristine Ferriman.

Additionally, in the Fellowship femininity isn’t minimized as it has been in other Mormon churches. Women in the priesthood are honored with feminine titles. This stands in contrast to Community of Christ, which decided to revise the understanding of masculine priesthood titles such as “deacon”, “priest”, and now even “prophet” to be gender neutral instead of accepting the feminine versions of “deaconess”, “priestess”, and “prophetess”.

In fact, the Fellowship has gone even further by dividing the Levitical priesthood into 2 halves: the Brotherhood of Aaron – or the Aaronic Priesthood – and the Sisterhood of Miriam – or the Miriamic Priesthood. Both of these priesthoods are considered essential to the spiritual vitality and structure of the church.

2.3. Research & Education Conclusion

The Mormon understanding of Heavenly Mother is not universally correlated. While many Mormons have adopted Asherah as Heavenly Mother – some even pointing to Dan McClellan’s work – Dan himself does not believe that Mormons make a compelling case of linking Asherah to Heavenly Mother. Others look to Eve as the blueprint of feminine deification, and some view Heavenly Mother as the Holy Ghost. Some say She is silent and shouldn’t be prayed to, while others say She is quite communicative and welcomes prayers to Her. Some say there is one, while others say there are many.

These different perspectives all bring meaningful insight as to how we understand the Divine Feminine, and the very act of collecting, comparing, and sharing these perspectives is a sacred act of worship.

3. Creating

That being said, after uncovering Heavenly Mother’s presence in scriptures and church history, I realized that simply knowing about Her wasn’t enough; She still felt distant and theoretical. I needed stories and art about Her. I was able to find some art, and loved everything Carol Lynn Pearson has written and performed over the years.

However, the words of Joseph Smith III rang in my ears: “All are called according to the gifts of God unto them” (Josephite Doctrine and Covenants 119:8B) I decided to take these words to heart, and make my own writings, stories, and art that center Her.

3.1. Writing

3.1.1 Maxims of the Mother

For those unaware, I was a member of Community of Christ from 2021-2023. I resigned my membership because their First Presidency issued a policy that excludes polyamorous people – such as myself – from full fellowship, and implicitly designates my family as second-class.

While I refused to have my and my family’s dignity diminished, leaving Community of Christ was still a hard transition. When I joined I thought it would be my spiritual home for the rest of my life. When I left, I had to determine what I had learned about Divinity while I was a Josephite.

I decided to address 15 different theological topics that I felt were important to me, and the method I chose to do so was through creating scripture. After all, as Rob Lauer teaches, scripture is just art, and scripture is an art form that I love. I styled my writings after the Doctrine and Covenants, but instead of Heavenly Father speaking, it was in the voice of Heavenly Mother, and I came to title this book “Maxims of the Mother“.

Through this work, I sought to envision a Goddess who sanctifies LGBTQ+ bodies, polyamorous love, and neurodivergent ways of perceiving the world. I tried to express a Mormon theology that uplifts the outcast, exalts consent, denounces coercion, honors uniqueness, and invites sacredness through community rather than hierarchy.

One of the most liberating parts of this process was realizing I didn’t need anyone’s permission to hear Her voice, and I didn’t need a mediator or hierarchy to get to know Her. That realization was freeing and healing.

I published Maxims of the Mother online without expecting it to reach many people, but a few have found it deeply meaningful. One friend even told me it’s his favorite book of scripture, which was extraordinarily humbling. This book not only brought me closer to Her – it helped others do so as well.

3.1.2. The Book of the Lavens

Maxims of the Mother helped me articulate what I envisioned a Divine Femininity to care about, but it lacked a narrative. I often say that we humans are story-driven creatures; in our spare time, we turn to novels, films, games, and scripture – not only for entertainment, but to find ourselves in the stories and make connections with others who love those same stories. I believe that the Book of Mormon is a narrative scripture that was largely written to address the major religious issues of the 1820s, which is why it spoke so profoundly to the spiritual needs of the people during that time. Likewise, I felt that today we needed a book of scripture that speaks to our spiritual needs today – such as on Divine Femininity and Queer people – so I wrote “The Book of the Lavens.“

Framed as a kind of midrash of 3rd and 4th Nephi, The Book of the Lavens began with a thought experiment: What if Queer people were always in the narrative of the Book of Mormon, but were either hidden or removed by later redactors? What would their presence have meant to the spiritual development of those in the Promised Land?

Among the Lavens is Shemnon, a transgender woman yearning for the visions her friend Nephi receives. Nephi explains that some are born seers, while others enter the divine presence through the consumption of sacred plants. After a cautious first taste of a “visionary fruit,” Shemnon meets a companion, but is blindfolded as she does. Her vision is relatively brief, and Nephi urges her to wait before seeking more. Impatient, Shemnon finds the fruit growing wild and decides to take far too much. As a result, she endures a terrifying flood of revelation and spends a year integrating the experience.

Once she is prepared to keep learning, Shemnon again partakes of visionary food and returns to where her first vision left off. Shemnon’s companion then shows her the entire history of humanity. Shemnon is confused by why she was shown this, and the figure explains that She wanted to show Shemnon all of Her children. This again puzzles Shemnon, because she thought Divinity was exclusively masculine. The companion explains that She is the goddess Asherah who has helped humanity grow. The vision promptly concludes, leaving Shemnon awestruck to see femininity in the heavens.

In her next vision, Shemnon finds Asherah in a cabin in the snow. Inside, Shemnon is told to ask any questions she wants to have answered. First, Shemnon seeks a clarification on cosmology; then who exactly was present at the Heavenly Council; whether mortals like herself can one day attain godhood; how human bodies were fashioned; if Asherah is truly the exalted Eve, the Mother of All Living; why such knowledge had been buried and Her Divinity unacknowledged; how mortals ought to honor and worship Her; and, in the end, whom she should address in prayer.

In her last vision, Asherah warns Shemnon about the destruction of the land that will come prior to Christ’s visitation to the Promised Land, and tells her to gather the Lavens at their Temple for safety.

I released The Book of the Lavens online for free, and I have even ordered physical copies so I can give them away to people who request them – let me know if you would like one.

The people who have read it have been Queer and straight, Mormon and otherwise, and I have been consistently told that it is the first time they have seen Jesus and Heavenly Mother explicitly bless Queer people. It has moved many to tears and helped soften hearts towards spirituality as a whole, which had previously been weaponized against them. Helping people was why this book of scripture was written, and I am glad that it does.

3.1.3. Heavenly Parents Doctrine

I grew up in the LDS church being taught monolatry; we worshipped Heavenly Father while quietly acknowledging that other divine beings existed – Heavenly Mother included – but weren’t worshipped. This theology emphasized eternal progression toward deification, or exaltation. While this appealed to many, its traditional interpretation suggests Queer people, like myself, would be forced to either undergo celestial conversion therapy or be eternally limited. I find this view unsatisfactory, because it does not reflect the earthly model that we have here on earth. My earthly parents are cisgender and heterosexual, yet my life as a bisexual transgender woman is full of love, growth, and spiritual depth. If earthly diversity can produce joy, why would celestial life demand uniformity? Exaltation, I realized, must be about authenticity, not conformity.

Such shifts in our theology are not only new, but they are also expected. In Journal of Discourses 2:123, Brigham Young taught:

“Were the former and Latter-day Saints, with their Apostles, Prophets, Seers, and Revelators collected together to discuss [the nature of Deity], I am led to think there would be found a great variety in their views and feelings upon this subject … It is as much my right to differ from other men, as it is theirs to differ from me, in points of doctrine and principle, when our minds cannot at once arrive at the same conclusion.”

The context in which this was being said is quite interesting. During and after the succession crisis, theologians such as Orson Pratt and Brigham Young debated how to build upon the theology presented in the King Follett Discourse. Pratt believed that there was a “Great First Cause, or the Self-Moving Forces of the Universe” which created all spirits co-eternally – a sort of Mormonized version of Aristotle’s “Prime Mover”, while Brigham Young believed in spiritual procreation that regressed back infinitely. Although Pratt’s views were eventually marginalized and largely forgotten, Young’s teachings – including the controversial Adam-God doctrine – left lasting marks on Mormon thought.

It is within this spirit of theological diversity that I began to formulate what I call “The Heavenly Parents Doctrine” – a cosmology that draws on Smith’s co-eternal doctrine, Pratt’s Great First Cause, Young’s Adam-God, and contemporary insights on Queer inclusion. I plan to write a long-form story of this myth similar to Sharlee Mullins Glenn’s Brighter and Brighter Until the Perfect Day, but for now, I would like to read you my abridged retelling of our cosmological and creation myths:

Before the beginning, there was a Great First Cause, known to us as the Holy Spirit, and was a pantheistic presence which permeated all of reality. Over eons, this Spirit gathered scattered intelligences and shaped them into an advanced species known as “The Elohim.” These beings, though powerful, found themselves spiritually stagnant due to their lack of growth through experience.

Recognizing their limitations, the Elohim convened a council at Kolob, where they decided that their progression required joy and sorrow, which could only be provided by mortality. In this mortal state, they would relinquish all the Celestial knowledge they had. However, one Elohim would retain their Celestial knowledge to comfort, guide, and lead them in their human forms. After their mortal probation, each person would progress to one of three communities based on their spiritual growth: Celestial, Terrestrial, and Telestial.

Two Elohim, Jehovah, the Beloved Son, and Lucifer, the Morning Star, volunteered to be this Comforter. Jehovah’s plan honored agency, allowing genuine spiritual growth through individual choice, whereas Lucifer aimed to take power by removing choice and promising universal exaltation without suffering in the process. After a war of words, the Elohim chose Jehovah, as He was the one who provided the path for growth. This enraged Lucifer, who departed from Kolob with his followers. To safeguard the plan for their happiness, the Elohim created sacred tokens, which could only be obtained through mortal experience.

Sophia, the Lady of Wisdom, and Michael, the Ancient of Days, were chosen to lead the design of the planet where mortality would occur, including the bodies that the Elohim would inhabit. The first humans would remain in a paradisical garden called Eden until they grew accustomed to their mortal forms. They would indicate that they were ready to leave the garden and experience true mortality by eating the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.

The Council of Kolob was so pleased with the work of Sophia and Michael that they asked them to be the first Elohim to take on these mortal forms. In the garden, Sophia and Michael renamed each other “Eve, the Mother of All Living” and “Adam, the Son of the Earth”. Eve tended to the plants of the earth, and Adam tended to the animals.

After only 8 years, Lucifer – now known as Satan – tempted them to partake of the fruit prematurely. He did this not so they would be empowered or to help them progress, but to watch them suffer. Adam and Eve struggled in the lone and dreary world, where Satan continued his attempts to deceive them. However, the Council of Kolob sent messengers to guide them and teach them laws, help them make covenants, and give them tokens.

Adam and Eve had many children, the oldest of whom were the twins Cain, the tiller of the earth, and Abel, the keeper of sheep. Abel offered the best of his flock to the Council of Kolob, who received these gifts with happiness. Cain, however, sacrificed the worst of his produce, keeping the best for himself. The Council rejected Cain’s sacrifices because it showed that Cain did not want to draw near unto them. Cain withdrew to his fields in his anger, where Satan flattered and enticed him with power. Cain devoted himself to Satan, and took a new name – Mahan – and killed his brother to claim his flocks.

Abel, now in the spirit world, told the Council of Kolob that he had not yet learned enough in mortality, and petitioned for an amended plan allowing for multiple mortal probations. The Council, moved by his wisdom, agreed, and Abel was reborn as Seth.

After 930 years, Adam and Eve’s mortal probation concluded, and neither felt a need for another. At the veil, they presented the tokens they learned in mortality. Despite not living another mortal probation, they realized they deeply missed their mortal bodies, recognizing their value in experiencing the dualities of life. Eve proposed that exalted beings should be allowed to take up perfected, immortal bodies, which the Council unanimously approved. To signify their exaltation, Eve renamed Herself “Asherah” and Adam renamed Himself “El”. Asherah and El set another example in their exalted state: they sought to help guide their children on earth to also reach their own exaltation. In doing so, they became our first Heavenly Parents.

I believe that this version of our myth allows for equal veneration of Heavenly Mother and Father, and also enables us to see other cosmic figures as Parents who are helping raise us toward exaltation, so we too can be Heavenly Parents.

3.2. Art

As I was writing Maxims of the Mother, The Book of the Lavens, and outlining the “Heavenly Parents Doctrine”, I longed to be able to see what Heavenly Mother looks like. As a graphic artist, I felt uniquely positioned to depict Her.

3.2.1. Maxims of the Mother

In “Maxims of the Mother,” I created a work of art associated with each chapter, and many of these ended up being portraits of Heavenly Mother.

One I titled “Priesthood” – I wanted Her to resemble Del Parson’s famous portrait of Jesus, and interestingly, She ended up looking quite a bit like my own earthly mother.

Another, called “Realms of the Goddess,” incorporates Degrees of Glory symbolism throughout.

I also modeled one after my wife, because she is, without a doubt, a force of Divine Femininity in my life.

3.2.2. Pendant

My mother-in-law had a wonderful little pendant of a Goddess, and my wife was kind enough to let me wear it for quite a while. I loved it because, unlike most Goddess pendants, it didn’t have a spiral over her womb. As a transgender woman, I obviously can never give birth, and so my femininity isn’t centered around this experience, and I loved how this small pendant emphasized other aspects of femininity. However, my wife wanted to ensure that her mother’s pendant wasn’t lost and didn’t want me to wear it very often.

I tried to find a pendant of my own, but it wasn’t easy to find one that didn’t emphasize procreation as a major aspect of femininity. So, I decided to make one. I had previously created a silhouette for the cover of Maxims of the Mother, and I asked my trans-masculine friend if he could create a 3D model of it; he was happy to help. Once he gave me the file, I ordered a 3-D print of it that was cast in bronze. I wear this necklace nearly everyday, and it helps me feel as if Asherah is near to me.

3.2.3. Other Creations

Even after completing Maxims of the Mother, I continued to create portraits of Her, because I love thinking about what She may look like.

I made “Celestial Mother” inspired by the 1960s Hanna-Barbera animation. I loved it so much I decided to make another one where She is with Her Husband.

I created another piece of Her as an elderly woman, inspired by my grandmother, who was such an excellent example of Divine Femininity to me before she passed.

I also wanted to depict Her in such a way where she just seemed like a normal person about my age, and I called this one “Hipster”.

After this, I realized that I had only depicted Asherah as a white woman, which she very well may not be. So, I created this portrait, which I call “Queen Bee”, where she is depicted as a beautiful black woman surrounded by deserets.

3.2.4. Other Artists

My art also led me to wonder how others had portrayed Her, and I was thrilled by some of the depictions I found.

One of the earliest was John Hafen’s “A Mother There” from 1908, modeled after his wife embracing their daughter.

Other favorites is Courtney Vander Veur Matz’s “Divine Mother,” which captures a wonderfully cosmic feel.

Lauren Walke’s “You ARE Enough,” depicts Heavenly Mother hugging a Queer daughter. This one especially moved me, because I saw myself in that daughter. 

I have prints of all three of these works of art, which I proudly display in my home.

3.3. Creating Conclusion

I felt called to create these works of art, but I don’t believe that this call I have is unique, because “All are called according to the gifts of God unto them” (Josephite Doctrine and Covenants 119:8B)

If you feel as if you are called to write scripture, then write scripture! If you are called to create myth, then create myth! If you are called to create art, then create art! Doing these things will help you know our Heavenly Parents better.

4. Performing

I believe that it is wise to study from all the branches of Mormonism, as the diversity that has developed among us is a great blessing and we should take advantage of it. One theologian I have respected is Maurice L. Draper, a Josephite in a First Presidency. In 1971 he wrote:

“Priesthood authority in the Restoration movement has never been regarded as a purely legal matter. It is first of all a matter of insight, response to human need, and actual participation in situations which contribute to the satisfaction of that need.

“All are called according to the gifts of God unto them” (Doctrine and Covenants 119: 8B). If one is called to minister in terms of [their] potential capacity in relation to Divine gifts, [they are] under obligation to refine those gifts, to sharpen [their] tools of ministry, and to develop skill in the procedures of ministry. In the final analysis, priesthood authority is expressed in effective ministry.”

Since I no longer stand within an institutional hierarchy, no handbook forbids me from blessing, teaching, or officiating when the Spirit prompts. Instead, I measure my authority by the same yardstick Draper offered: does what I do heal, nourish, and empower? If so, then the work is its own authorization.

In what follows, I will share a few moments when that open, service-centered approach to priesthood has come alive.

4.1. Vow Renewal

When Community of Christ’s new policy relegated polyamorous folks like me to second-class status, I had friends step away from the church in solidarity with me. They didn’t want to continue participating in a community where their friend was being discriminated against. Even so, many of us still see each other as spiritual companions.

Last year, a couple invited me to preside over their vow renewal. Over the course of their 30-year marriage, they had undergone multiple faith transitions, had children and grandchildren, and now they wanted a ceremony where they could celebrate their enduring love with their family. I was honored and accepted their request.

Both of them no longer affiliate with Mormonism, and they have gravitated more towards earth-based spirituality. I asked if I could offer a blessing from the “Triple Goddess” – an archetype of Divine Femininity that takes the form of a “Maiden, Mother, and Crone”, which represent different phases in life. They said they would love that. In their ceremony, I gave them this blessing:

“May the Maiden bless you with youthful joy and new adventures;
May the Mother bless you with nurturing love and the strength to care for each other;
And may the Crone bless you with wisdom and a deep understanding of life’s mysteries.”

It was a beautiful and meaningful ceremony for the whole family, and I was thrilled to help them celebrate their love!

4.2. Asherah Communion Revelation

The vow-renewal I officiated left me glowing: it was the first ritual I had ever led that invoked Heavenly Mother. Afterward, I felt a holy tug – surely She deserved a regular, family-oriented communion of Her own, the way Sacrament centers Jesus and Heavenly Father. To learn how our foremothers once honored Her, I sifted through scripture and archaeology.

In the Book of Jeremiah, we catch a glimpse of an intergenerational ceremony: children gather firewood, men stoke the flames, and women mix dough into small cakes “for the Queen of Heaven,” while wine is poured out in libation. Worship, it seems, was a full-family affair.

The Temple at Tel Arad held two standing stones – one for El and one for Asherah – each with its own incense resin. Frankincense was found on His altar, which is unsurprising considering how closely the scent is associated with Heavenly Father. However, a 2020 chemical analysis showed THC, CBD, and CBN were on Heavenly Mother’s altar. Scholars have come to believe that cannabis was mixed with a couple of other ingredients to make an incense that smoldered longer. In other words, Heavenly Mother’s clergy likely worshipped in a gentle, cannabinoid haze.

Information on this ceremony was interesting, but incomplete. So, in late June of last year, I did what Restoration scripture teaches: I asked Her directly what would be the best way to worship Her regularly. On July 1st, 2024 I sat down and received a revelation on how to best do this.

This revelation instructs gathering your family and friends together on the full moon to bake confections, drink wine, and partake of cannabis. These get-togethers are meant to be joyful celebrations where gratitude is expressed for loved ones.

I have been following the worship outlined in this revelation ever since I received it. It has been a wonderful way to grow closer to my partners and friends. It has been a time that is set apart for us to hear about what is going on in each other’s lives, to talk about our spiritual journeys, relax, have fun, gaze at the moon, and enjoy cookies together. It is definitely my favorite form of worship, and I look forward to the full moon every month.

4.3. Ordinations

As I’ve mentioned, I have long embraced a “priesthood of all believers,” the idea that divine authority is a part of all of us. Nowhere is that conviction voiced more clearly than in the 2003 Reform Mormon proclamation “To Homosexuals Currently or Formerly Members of the LDS Faith“, which declares:

“Whether or not you realize it, you possess the priesthood of God and all of the keys required to act with it – right now. It has been within you since your birth, even though you may not have realized it was there. You have been asked to pretend that you do not possess this, or that you are not worthy to use it, but that pretense is no longer necessary. You are free to use this power. You are free to discover it and explore it. You are not restricted from the use of this power as some have taught you – you are a child of God, and entitled to experience it directly.”

While priesthood is a part of our human nature, I believe that the ritual of ordination can still be beneficial, as it lets a community publicly recognize a call and affirm it with love. Because Community of Christ never acknowledged my call to serve as a Matriarch, I turned to the model used by many fundamentalist Brighamites and asked a trusted friend – the same friend whose vow-renewal I had officiated – to ordain me. Over lunch, we discussed what that would mean, and he joyfully agreed.

For the ordination, I arranged a small altar that included art, scriptures, and other tokens that remind me of Heavenly Mother. Surrounded by family and friends, my friend placed his hands upon me and pronounced the blessing. He also shared his priesthood lineage, so I now trace one line through my father (when I was ordained an Elder) and another through this friend (when I became a High Priestess). The ceremony was intimate, affirming, and utterly transformative.

I do want to mention what being a Matriarch means to me, especially since I don’t have kids and don’t intend to: as an openly bisexual, polyamorous, and transgender Mormon, I have personally experienced being ostracized from community. I see other people like me struggle with this same thing, and I feel a call to offer spiritual companionship, sanctuary, and revival to my people. I look to Heavenly Mother as an example of how I should act in my ministry. Part of this has included specific blessings which people request at pivotal points in their lives. I record these blessings and transcribe them, so that the blessed can refer back to this guidance later in life if needed.

My ministry as a Matriarch has led some to seek their own ordination experiences that they had been denied in life. The first friend that I helped was the one who helped me design my pendant. As a transgender man, he was never allowed to be ordained and serve others within a priesthood capacity. Last year, as I was telling him about my Matriarchal ordination, he mentioned to me that he had felt a call to priesthood, but didn’t know what to do about it. Across several heartfelt conversations and some studying, we agreed that the call that he felt best matched the traditional office of “priest”; someone who prepares holy space and offers gentle, sustaining service.

When the time felt right, we gathered in my living room where I placed my hands on his head and ordained him a priest. The blessing affirmed that his spiritual path had been difficult, but in the process, he had learned a great deal about the world, especially himself. Having Heavenly Mother so focused was powerful for him. It showed that people who are marginalized and often forgotten can have power and strength of their own. It was a wonderful experience.

4.4. Prayers

My prayer life has matured alongside my understanding of the Divine. In the past I would exclusively pray to Heavenly Father, and then later just “God”. However, today when I am full of joy or sorrow, I instinctively reach out to Heavenly Mother. What once felt taboo as a teenager now feels as natural as breathing.

Occasionally, I still pray to Heavenly Father; there was a notable instance last year that sticks out in my memory. It came out that a former friend that I was pretty close to had sexually assaulted an intoxicated woman and then harassed her for months afterwards. This came out when the woman posted screenshots of conversations and a picture of the restraining order she got against him.

I didn’t know the woman very well, and offered support as I was able to, and I also prayed to Heavenly Mother and pleaded to give this woman solace and protection. However, I felt there was a need for firm correction on my former-friend’s part, so I addressed Heavenly Father and asked Him to smack some sense into my former friend so he wouldn’t keep hurting women. In that moment, each Parent answered a different pastoral need: nurturing comfort from Her and righteous accountability from Him.

Within my Reform Mormon community, it is most common to address Heavenly Mother and Father together in prayer. At our First General Conference this past April, all prayers were addressed to both of them. Those giving the prayers were not directed to do this, as Reform Mormonism does not mandate any specific view on God; this was just what felt natural in the prayers. In private devotion, too, many of us address both of them as a partnership.

4.5. Performing Conclusion

Incorporating Heavenly Mother into actual and regular worship practices has been so freeing for me. It has allowed me to explore my own gender identity and spiritual calling, help others find theirs, and deepen my appreciation of femininity as a whole.

5. Conclusion

Carol Lynn Pearson compared the lack of Heavenly Mother in the LDS church to growing up in a motherless house where no one would talk about her. When I finally came to discover my own womanhood, the sacred hush became intolerable for me; I needed a Goddess who could be seen, heard, and loved openly.

Studying gave Her a story, writing lent Her a voice, and ritual let Her breathe among my family and friends. Together, these practices did away with the “sacred hush”, and also revealed that the heavens are not a monologue but a dialogue. Everyone is a part of this conversation at the table of God, and Queer people like me are no exception.

I want to testify to you that you do not need to wait for someone to reveal things about Heavenly Mother; you can meet Her yourself. You can pray to Her and seek Her guidance at any time. You can meet many Heavenly Mothers, Heavenly Fathers, and other Heavenly Parents. The heavens are eager to love you! Knowing and loving one Heavenly Parent does not diminish the love for another; it just makes more love!

As I conclude my presentation today, I would like to impart upon all of you a blessing that I developed and recite for times such as these:

“May Asherah, my Heavenly Mother, bless you and nurture you as she lovingly guides your spirit to a place of peace.”

Amen.