What’s in a Wilcox Fireside?

I recently transcribed 3 of Brad Wilcox’s talks:

The one that started this fire was the Alpine Rescue. It whipped everyone into such a fervor that Wilcox actually issued an apology on facebook:

I don’t have a lot of confidence that Brad is actually apologizing, since the LDS church controls this page. It very easily could have been a P.R. spinner.

However, for the sake of this post, let’s assume that he did make the apology personally. He admits that he made a mistake last night. However, This wasn’t some off-the-cuff racist remark. I found 3 instances where he said those racist things. This was a well-polished performance that he’s been giving for years.

Additionally, Brad portrays feminists wanting equality as shrill and dumb, yet he didn’t even acknowledge the hurtful and damning things that he said about women.

I am led to believe that this wasn’t a sincere apology; this was a public relations move to try and save face during a P.R. disaster.


The Comparisons

In light of all this, I decided to sit down and compare the 3 firesides I transcribed just so you can see exactly how similar they are. My comparisons will be the end of this post.

Let’s Clarify some things before we begin. “G” stands for Georgia, which is the earliest known fireside. “U” stands for “Unknown”, because we don’t know the dates of one of the firesides. “A” stands for Alpine, which is the most recent fireside.

I do also want to clarify something – this whole situation has really irritated me. Over the last 3 days I’ve sunk over a dozen hours into the transcriptions and analyses. In the past I have found that sometimes I don’t have firm boundaries and let even meaningful relationships suffer when I am creating content regarding the LDS church like this. In light of this, this will be the last post I make regarding Brad Wilcox and his snafu. I will gladly pass the torch of transcribing things to the next person.


Table of Contents of Similarities

LDS Church and Rise of the “Nones”

Apostatizing

Set Up

Evangelical

Why We Lie

The BYU Apostate

“One True Church” isn’t a Competition

Fight With his Companion and the Balloon Analogy

The Fish Out of Water

The Furnace

Planning Your Next Sacrament Talk

Playing School and Religion

Race and the Priesthood

Women and the Priesthood

Work for the Dead

Walking Away With Chopsticks


LDS Church and Rise of the “Nones”

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G

Now, I’ve been reading in the newspaper… This, children, is called a newspaper. We used them in the olden days. Look how you scroll down. Whoa! Whoa!

A

I want to read you something that I read in the newspaper. (holds up newspaper)

This children, is called a newspaper. We used them in the olden days. Look how we scroll down. (unfolds newspaper) Whoa. Did you see that? Whoa.


In the newspaper, it says that people are leaving religion, especially young people. In fact, it says here it’s compared in a survey of over well over 30,000 people from all 50 States. They asked them these questions.

Well, in the newspaper, it says that young people are leaving religion. And it compared your generation to my generation on four important questions:


  • Is religion very important? – Uh, let’s see… Am I going to have to go get my glasses? Alright, come tell me what this says (grabs a young girl from the audience, has her stand up front, and puts her arm around her). Stay here, I’m going to need you. 59% of my generation said “yes, religion is important”. And how many of the younger generations? 41%.
  • Do you attend weekly religious services? 38% of my generation and 27% – I can see that one – of yours.
  • Pray at least once a day? 61% of my generation, compared to 42% of your generation.
  • And do you believe in heaven? 74% of my generation and 67% of yours.
  • Number one, is religion very important? 59% of my generation said yes. 41% of your generation said yes.
  • Do you attend weekly religious services? 38% of your generation said yes. 27% of my generation said yes.
  • Do you pray at least once a day? 61% of my generation said yes; 42% of your generation said yes.
  • And do you believe in heaven? 74% of my generation said yes, and 67% of your generation said yes.

Thank you very much. (Girl goes and sits down)

You probably didn’t need a research study to tell you that because you see it around you all over the place. How many of you know somebody who used to go to Church but doesn’t go to Church anymore? Wow. Look at all those hands.

Now, you can see that those numbers are going down in every category. And you don’t need a newspaper to tell you that, because how many of you know somebody who used to go to Church who no longer goes to Church?

Raise your hands if you know somebody. Yeah, look at all those hands.


Apostatizing

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G

Now, the reason that scares me is not because we have a few less people in the church. It scares me because we have the church in a few less people, and that’s what scares me. They’re going to have to face the same challenges and the same struggles of life that we all face. But they’re choosing to do it in the absolute hardest way possible. They’re choosing to do it without God, without Christ, without the gospel.

A

Now, what scares me about people making the choice to leave isn’t that we have a few less people in the Church. It doesn’t bother me that we have fewer people sitting in the pews. What bothers me is that we have the Church in fewer people. That’s what bothers me, because they’re going to face the same challenges we face. They’re going to face the same struggles and the same trials and the same heartbreaks. And they’re choosing to do it in the absolute hardest way possible. They’re choosing to do it without God, without Christ, without the Church.


Set Up

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G

So tonight I want to focus in on six pieces of good news, six doctrines that set our Church apart, six doctrines that you can’t find anywhere else. Maybe some people can leave religion and not lose very much, but you leave this religion and you lose everything, because we have so much here that you simply cannot find anywhere else.

A

So tonight let’s talk about six different doctrines that you find here in the Church that you can’t find elsewhere.

Maybe some people can leave some churches and they don’t miss that much. But you leave this church, you miss everything. You miss everything. Let’s talk about the blessings of the gospel that you can only find here.


Evangelical

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I should be noted that Brad also gave another version of this story when he was actually talking with the Evangelical. I am skeptical if this ever even happened.

G

Last summer, I participated with what was called an Evangelical / Latter-day Saint conversation. It was in Idaho Falls, and they filled an auditorium like this with people. And a Baptist (he meant Evangelical) minister from the Boise area represented an Evangelical point of view. They invited me to come from BYU and represent a Latter-day Saint point of view. And we talked to each other and ask each other questions.

A

The summer before COVID shut the world down, I was invited to go to an evangelical/Latter-day Saint conversation. It was in Idaho Falls, they got the local high school auditorium, they filled it with people. Then they had a minister from Boise represent the evangelical point of view, they had me from BYU representing the Latter-day Saints point of view. And we had a little discussion back and forth together.


Remember I told you about that Evangelical / Latter-day Saint conversation? There I was on the stage, I was asking him questions. He asked me questions. He said, “Are you a Bible based Church?”, and I said, (hesitantly squeaking), I said finally, “No, not the way you’re thinking of, but yes, in a way you’ve never even thought of before”. He’s like (mimicking a dumbfounded sound). I said, “Look, a lot of people hold the Bible, and they say, ‘This is my religion, this is my truth, this is the perfect word of God’”, he says, “I would be one of those people”. And I said, “But the Bible is not religion; the Bible is a history of people who have religion. And what religion did they have? They didn’t have the Bible. They didn’t say, ‘here’s my religion.’ They had prophets. They had Apostles, and that’s the same religion that we have. So, if you think about it, we’re the only Bible based church because we are the only ones that have the same religion as the people in the Bible. See, they didn’t say, ‘Turn to John 3:5’. No, they turn to John. He was standing right there. They didn’t say, ‘Turn to the Epistles of Paul’, they turned to Paul – Joseph Smith said he was short – (looking down) so they turned to Paul. He was right there. See, we have that same religion.”

He asked me, “Are you a Bible based Church?”, and I said “(hesitantly squealing)”, and I said finally I said, “No, not the way you’re thinking of it, but yes, in a way you’ve never thought of before.” The poor guy was just going (shaking face and making silly noises as if the minister was confounded). He didn’t know exactly what I was talking about. So I explained. I said “A lot of people hold the Bible up, and they say, ‘this is my religion’”. He says, “I would be one of those people”. I said, “Yeah, but the Bible is not actually religion; the Bible is a history of people who had religion. What did the people in the Bible have? They didn’t have the Bible, not the way we have it today. So what religion did they have? They had prophets, they had apostles, and we got the same thing today. So if you look at it like that, we’re the ONLY Bible based church!”

I don’t know whether I convinced him, but it’s true. Back in those days, they didn’t say, “Turn to John 3:5”. No, they turned to John; he was right there. They didn’t say, “Turn to the Epistles of Paul”. No, they turned to Paul. And Joseph Smith says he was short. (gesturing downward) So they turned the Paul, and he was right there. And that’s the same religion that we have today, knowing that we are led by prophets, seers and revelators men who are alive leading a living church at the direction of Jesus Christ.


Why We Lie

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G

He saw them, and he saw two separate beings with physical, tangible bodies. Wow. “Yeah, but, maybe he lied”. If you haven’t heard that, you will. You’ll hear somebody say that Joseph Smith just lie. He made it all up.

But before you buy into that too quickly, you need to remember why we lie. Now, you don’t know this because you never lie. But think of your friends. They lie. They lie all the time. So when you lie, you lie in an effort to be believed. You don’t lie in an effort to be found out. If you go to school and the teacher says, “Where’s your homework?”, you’re not going to say “Aliens being down and sucked it into the mothership.” You’re not going to say that because your teacher would never believe it. What are you going to say? Not you, but your friends. You left it at home, the dog ate it, my mom washed in the washing machine. The one I hear all the time at BYU is my printer broke. You have no idea how many broken printers fill Utah Valley. It’s just like an epidemic.

But why do they say that to me? Well, it’s because they think it’s something that I will believe. You don’t lie to be found out. You lie to be believed. So do you think Joseph Smith was all that different? I mean, if he were lying, then he would have come out of the grove of trees, and when he finally started telling people about his First Vision, he would have said, “I saw one being: God. And God and Jesus are the same being, and it’s a spirit”, because that’s what people would have believed. That’s what a lot of people believe now. But he didn’t say that. He said “the two separate beings with physical, perfected bodies.” And God and Jesus are the same being. And it’s a spirit because that’s what people would have believed.

That’s what a lot of people believe now. But he didn’t say that. He said the two separate beings with physical, perfected body. Wow. That is so far out of the realm of believability that Joseph Smith proves himself either a horrible liar, I mean he was bad at it, or a speaker of truth.

A

“Yeah, but maybe Joseph Smith lied”. If you haven’t heard that yet, you certainly will. Lots of people say, “oh, he just made it all up. He just made up that story”. But people who go there don’t understand why we lie. Because you certainly don’t lie in an effort to be found out. You don’t tell your teacher “I didn’t get my homework done because aliens beamed down and sucked it into the mothership”. No, your teacher is never going to believe that. Well, not you, because you don’t lie.

But people who go there don’t understand why we lie. Because you certainly don’t lie in an effort to be found out. You don’t tell your teacher I didn’t get my homework done because aliens beamed down and sucked it into the mothership. No, your teacher is never going to believe that. Well, not you, because you don’t lie. But what do your friends tell the teacher? “Yeah, the dog ate my homework”, “Oh, my gosh, my mom washed it in the washing machine”, the one I hear at BYU where little children have signed an honor code is, “my printer broke” every time a paper is due. You have no idea how many broken printers fill Utah Valley. It’s just an epidemic.

Now, why do they say that to me? Because it’s something I might believe. Do you think Joseph Smith was that different? If he were lying, then he would have said what everybody wanted to hear. He would have said, “I saw God and God and Jesus are one being, and God and Jesus are spirit”. That’s what people wanted to hear. That’s what they would have believed. And yet he didn’t say that.

He said, “God and Jesus are separate beings with physical, tangible, perfected bodies”. Whoa. That is so far out of the realm of believability that Joseph Smith proves himself either a horrible liar – I mean he was bad at it – or a speaker of truth.


The BYU Apostate

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G

Man, some kid at BYU said to me the other day, “I don’t believe in Joseph Smith anymore. I still believe in God and Jesus”, and I said, “Do you realize how stupid you just sounded?” He said, “What?”, and I said, “‘I don’t believe in Joseph Smith, but I still believe in God and Jesus.’” Did you see what he did? He separated God and Jesus. I said, “If you really didn’t believe in Joseph Smith, you would have said, ‘I still believe in God’, or ‘I still believe in Jesus’, but you wouldn’t have said ‘God and Jesus’, because the ones who taught you to separate them is Joseph Smith.

A

I had some kid at BYU say to me, “I don’t believe in Joseph Smith anymore, but I still believe in God and Jesus”. And I said, “Look, I don’t mean to be rude, but do you realize how stupid you just sounded?” He’s like “What?” I said,” you don’t believe in Joseph Smith, but you still believe in God and Jesus. You separated them. Who taught you to do that? Who taught you that they’re separate beings? Joseph Smith. So don’t tell me you don’t believe in Joseph Smith anymore when your whole concept of God, your whole covenant relationship with Him is thanks to Joseph Smith”.


“One True Church” isn’t a Competition

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G

How many of you have ever gone to a high school game? Okay, how many have ever screamed “We’re number one”? How many of you have ever done that? Do you realize they do that all over the country? Do you realize that every high school screams that? Now, I’m not a mathematician, but there’s not that many number ones. Everybody’s screaming, “We’re number one” tend to see competition. They’re trying to say we’re better than everybody else. I’ve never gone to a school and heard people scream, “We’re number 439! We’re number 430–“. No, nobody screams fast. They’re all screaming, “We’re number one”, because it’s a competition. But we don’t scream “We’re the only true Church” in competition, but we do it in a spirit of invitation.

A

How many of you have ever gone to a high school game? How many have ever yelled these words? “We’re number one; we’re number one”, how many have ever yelled those words? Do you realize that every high school in the nation yells those words? I have never been to a high school game and heard people scream, “We’re number 439; we’re number 400–“, No; everybody’s number one. Why? Because it’s a spirit of competition. But we’re not screaming “We’re number one”, saying we’re better than everybody else. We’re saying “We’re the only true Church” in a spirit of invitation.


Fight With his Companion and the Balloon Analogy

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G

Now, I had a fight with a mission companion once because he said Latter-day Saints are the only ones who can feel the Spirit. I said “nu-uh”, he said “uh-huh”, I said “nu-uh”, he said “uh-huh”, and that’s how missionaries fight.

A

Now, I had a fight with a missionary companion once because he said that Latter-day Saints are the only ones who can feel the Spirit. And I said, “nu-uh”, and he said, “uh-huh”, and I said, “nu-uh”, and he said, “uh-huh”, and I said, “nu-uh”, and that’s how missionaries fight.


I said “Look, if Latter-day Saints are the only ones who can feel the Spirit, then what do they feel in their churches on Christmas Eve when they’re singing ‘Silent Night’ and the little kids are doing the major scene?” He says, “Spirit of the devil.” I said “No! You can’t feel the spirit of the devil when little kids are dressed in bathrobes. You just can’t”.

And I said, “Look, if they can’t feel the Spirit, what do they feel on Christmas Eve when they’re singing Silent Night, and the little kids are all dressed in bathrobes doing the manger scene? What do they feel?” He says, “The spirit of the devil”. I said, “No! You can’t feel the spirit of the devil when little kids are dressed in bathrobes! You can’t feel the little spirit of the devil when they’re singing ‘Silent Night’!”


So what my companion was trying to say is that we do have something that others don’t have, but it’s called “the gift of the Holy Ghost”. See, it’s kind of like a balloon. That’s why I brought you up here, you’re going to be my balloon. If I blow up the balloon, you make the sound effect. Here we go. (kid makes a whooshing noise) Good. Its like we practiced this. This is awesome. Alright, now, if I don’t tie a knot at the end of the balloon, what’s going to happen? Make the sound effects. (kid makes another whooshing noise) Good!

Now that’s how the spirit goes in and out of people’s lives. Muslims feel the spirit, Catholics feel the spirit, Hindus fill the spirit, but it goes in and out of their lives. And we have something that sets us apart: we have the gift of the Holy Ghost. It’s kind of like the knot at the end of the balloon, and it allows us to keep that spirit with us all the time. And that’s a beautiful thing. (to the teenage boy, motioning him to sit down) Thank you.

What my companion was trying to say is that we do have something that sets us apart, but it’s not the Spirit. Muslims feel the Spirit. Hindus feel the Spirit. Jews feel the Spirit. Catholics feel the Spirit. The Spirit will come and go in their lives. What we have that they don’t have is the gift of the Holy Ghost, and that’s the chance to have the Spirit with you always.

Come on up here, buddy. I told you I was going to pick on you. What’s your name? Jake. Come on up here. Is it “Jay” or “Jake”? (A kid name Jake comes to the podium) All right, Jake is going to be my balloon. I’m going to blow up the balloon, and you’re going to make the sound effect. Are you ready? Here we go. (Jake makes a whooshing noise) Good! Gosh, it’s like we practiced this, man. Oh, he’s been practicing for three days. All right, so if I don’t tie a knot at the, uh, end of the balloon, what’s going to happen? Make the sound effects. (Jake makes another whooshing noise) Good!


The Fish Out of Water

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G

The good news is that we get that gift usually when we’re eight years old. The bad news is that we get that gift, usually when we’re eight years old. And then young Latter-day Saints grow up in the Church, and they say to me, “I’ve never felt the spirit”, and I’m like, “oh, yeah, you have”. “No, I’ve never felt the spirit”, I’m like, “You have gone to church meetings your whole life, you’ve gone to seminary, you’ve gone to the EFY, you’ve done the youth conference, you’ve gone to girls camp, you’ve gone to funerals – millions of funerals – you have felt a spirit”, “No, never felt a spirit”.

A

Now, the good news is that most of you received that gift when you were eight years old. The bad news is that most of you received that gift when you were eight years old. And then young people say to me, “Brother Wilcox, I’ve never felt the spirit”. And I say, “Yeah, you have”, and they go “nu-uh”, and then I go “uh-huh”, and they go “nu-uh”, then we’re fighting again!


And when they say that to me, I just smile, and I say, “They’re just a big fish. Just a big old fish swimming around in the water, going ‘Water? What water? I don’t see any water’”.

When does a fish notice the water? When it’s out of it. And sadly, that’s what has to happen sometimes for young Latter-day Saints; they have to distance themselves from the Spirit, and then all of a sudden, they go, “Wow, I was feeling it. I was feeling it all the time”, they just didn’t recognize it. See, when young people say, “I’ve never felt the spirit”, what they mean is, “I’ve never felt a dramatic manifestation of the spirit”

“I’ve never felt the spirit.”? No, of course you felt the Spirit. Steven Covey used to tell students at BYU when they’d say, “I’ve never felt the Spirit”, he’d say, “You’re like a fish – you’re swimming around in the water, and you’re going, ‘Water? What water? I don’t see any water.’” When does the fish notice the water? When he’s out of the water. And then he goes, “Whoa, I was in the water all the time”.

Sometimes that’s what has to happen with young Latter-day Saints; they have to do something stupid. Distance themselves from the spirit. And then they say, “I was feeling it all the time. I just didn’t recognize it”.


The Furnace

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G

“The Spirit of God, like a…?” Fire. Yeah, I’ve felt that fire. I’ve felt this in my life, but I don’t feel it every day. I’m kind of grateful I don’t feel it every day. Can you imagine if you felt a Spirit like a fire every day? When you’d wake up, your alarm would go off and you’d be like, (shouting) “Whoa! Whew! Feelin’ the Spirit!” You’d be like pouring your breakfast cereal, (shouting) “Whoa!” You’d be in the shower (Shouting). I mean, you couldn’t even get through the day!

A

We sing, “The Spirit of God, like a…? Fire, is burning”. I’ve felt that fire, but I don’t feel it every day. I’m kind of glad I don’t feel it every day. I mean, you couldn’t even get through your morning for Pete’s sake. The alarm would go off, and you’d be like, “OOOOHHH! Feeling the Spirit! Yeah!” And you’d be in the shower going, “OHH!”, and you’d be pouring your Captain Crunch “OOOOH!!”. You couldn’t even get through the morning. So it’s a good thing you’re not feeling the spirit “like a fire” all the time.


So sometimes it’s a good thing that we don’t feel the Spirit like a fire all the time. Sometimes it’s a good thing that it’s a little more subtle. When we go into a house on a cold day, nobody ever stops and says, “The furnace is working”. Nobody ever does that. When do you notice a furnace? We’re in Georgia. When do you notice an air conditioner? When it’s not working! And then you don’t sit there and say, “I guess I better get used for it”, you say, “I’m going to call somebody, man, I got to fix this because I want to feel”, catch the word, “comfortable”. Comfortable. “I want to be able to get on with my life and not worry about the furnace or the fire. I just want to get on with my life.”

Sometimes I think maybe we ought to sing “The spirit of God like a furnace is working”. See, when it’s a cold day outside and you walk into your house, you don’t notice the furnace. None of you walk in your house and go, “The furnace is working”. When do you notice the furnace? When it’s not working. And then you don’t sit there and say, “I guess this is my new normal,”, No! You call somebody, because you want to get it fixed. Because you want to feel – catch the word – comfortable. You want to feel comfortable. And that’s how the Spirit helps us feel. We don’t always notice it, but it lets us get on with our lives. It lets us get on with what we’re here and mortality to learn and to do. So just recognize that sometimes it’s “like a fire”, most times it’s like a furnace. But you are feeling the Spirit because it surrounds you. You have the gift of the Holy Ghost.


Planning Your Next Sacrament Talk

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G

Now if you’re smart, you realize what I’m doing is I’m planning your next Sacrament talk. So when your branch President or your Bishop says, “Will you please speak in Church?” say, “Yes, Bishop, I’d love to”, and then say, “I’ll preach about the gospel”. And they get up and say, “G stands for…? O stands for…? S stands for….?”, and then just pick one of those and talk about it. You’ve got your talk all planned! “Thank you, brother. Wilcox”, yes, you’ve got it all planned.

A

Now you realize what I’m doing is planning your next Sacrament meeting talk. So next time the Bishop says, “Will you speak in Sacrament meeting”? say “Yes, Bishop. I’d love to. I’ll speak about the gospel” and then stand up and say, “G stands for…. O stands for… S stands for…”, then just talk about those things.


Playing School and Religion

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G

How many of you, when you were little, kids used to play school? Yes. Oh, there’s the hands. Yeah. How many of you ever played church? Oh, I love to see those hands up, because I always thought my kids were weird. My kids played church. They could put their little stuffed animals out on the couch and they’d have a little opening exercises and they sing the song and they do a little talk. Got a little nervous when my daughter started blessing the Sacrament, but they would play church. I would think, “Oh, how cute that is so cute”.

A

How many of you used to play school? Okay, good. I’m glad to see those hands up. How many of you used to play Church? I’m glad to see a few hands go up. My kids played Church. They’d pull out the stuffed animals, they’d put them on the couch, they’d sing the song, they’d do the talk, [I] got a little nervous when my daughter started blessing the sacrament, but they played church. And I used to think, “Oh, that’s so cute. It’s so cute.”


But now that I’m older, I realize that’s what most people in the world are doing, they’re playing religion. They’re playing church. It’s not that they’re not sincere. It’s not that they don’t have good hearts and good intentions, but they don’t have the authority that makes it count.

But now I’m older, and I realized it wasn’t just cute. It’s actually what most people in the world are doing. They’re playing Church. They’re sincere, they want it to count, but they don’t have the authority. They don’t have God’s permission. So that the things they do really count on Earth and in eternity. Man, I want what I’m doing to count. And to be able to have that, we have to have the priesthood. We have to have that.


When I was at University of Wyoming getting my doctorate, I worked in the writing center at the university. It was a place where people could come and get help with papers they were writing, and I oversaw several tutors that were working there with me, and one tutor showed up late. And I said, “Where have you been? We’ve been busy”. She said, “I’m sorry I didn’t get here. I was at my wedding rehearsal”, the practice for her wedding, and she said, “I’m just so upset”. I said, “Maybe you shouldn’t marry him”, and she said, “I’m not upset at my fiancé; I’m upset at the preacher”. I said, “How can you be mad at the preacher? They’re nice”, she said, “Well, I’m not mad at the preacher; I just hate those words”.

I lived in Wyoming while I was getting my PhD, and I was working at the University in what they called “the writing center”. And in the writing center, people would come and get help with their papers, and I would supervise a few tutors who worked there with me. One girl came late to work, and I said, “Where have you been?”, she says, “I’m sorry, but I was at my wedding rehearsal, and I’m just so upset.” I said, “Maybe you shouldn’t marry him”, and she said, “I’m not upset at my fiancé; I’m upset at the preacher.” I said, “How can you be mad at a preacher; they’re nice.” She said, “Well, I’m not mad at the preacher; I just don’t like those words.”


Hmmm… What words did she talk about? “Till death do you part”. And a lot of churches don’t say that anymore, instead, they say, “As long as you both shall live”. It’s the same thing. She said, ‘I hate those words; I feel like I’m getting divorced the day I’m getting married.”

I was like, “This is a missionary moment. Don’t blow it, Brad. Come on, don’t blow it. You can do this.” So I said, “In my Church, we can get married in the temple, where we are sealed for time and all eternity”. She goes, (voice cracking) “Awww… I love that!” and I thought, “Man, fill the font! I’m going to baptize you right now!”

What words is she talking about? “Till death do you part”. Most churches don’t say that anymore; now they say, “As long as you both shall live” – it’s the same thing.

And she didn’t like those words. She said, “I feel like I’m getting divorced. The day I’m getting married”, I was like, “This is like a missionary moment. This is a missionary moment. I mean, Brad, come on. Don’t blow it. Don’t blow it.” So I said, “In my Church, we get married in the temple, where we are sealed for time and all eternity”, and she went, “Oh! I love that!”

And I said, “Fill the font! I’m going to baptize this girl right now!”


No, she didn’t want to get baptized. She didn’t want to meet the missionary. She didn’t want to become a Latter-day Saint, but she did want to rewrite her wedding ceremony. True story: she goes to her minister, she says, “May I write my own ceremony?”, and he says, true story, “For an extra fee”. So she pays the extra money, and she writes her own ceremony, and he stood there in that Protestant Church and sealed them for time and all eternity.

No, she didn’t want to get baptized. She didn’t even want to meet the missionaries. But she did want to rewrite her wedding ceremony. So she went to the minister, and she said, “May I write my own ceremony?”, and he said, “For an extra fee”. So she paid the extra money, and she wrote her own ceremony. And I sat there in that Protestant church and listened as the preacher sealed them for time and all eternity.


Everybody in the Church is like, “Oh, that is so special”, and I was like, “Oh, that is so wrong! So wrong!” Why would I say it’s wrong? I mean, anybody can say whatever word they want; it’s a free country. Why was I saying it was wrong? No authority, no priesthood authority. I mean, they could say the pretty words, but it didn’t mean anything in God’s eyes, because God’s authority has to be valued, it has to be present, and that authority makes a difference in our lives.

I couldn’t believe it. I mean, I’m freaking out. I’m like, “Whoa!” Everybody in the church was like, “That is so special”, I was like, “That is so wrong! That’s just, like, wrong!. Like lightning bolt wrong.” Why? It’s a free country. They can say whatever they want to say. Why did I feel it was wrong? Authority. No authority. They just didn’t have permission to say those words. And so did it count eternally? No, because they were playing church, and in our church, we don’t play church. We have the authority to make that count on Earth and in heaven. And that is something I don’t want to say goodbye to.


Race and the Priesthood

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Now, sadly, you live in a time where people have twisted priesthood from something positive into something negative. Now, I know that these are complex issues. I realize that. But sometimes I think we make them harder than they are. So I don’t mean to be a little over simplistic, but sometimes I just think that we make things too complicated. “Why didn’t the blacks get the priests until 1978? What’s up with that brother Wilcox? What? Latter-day Saints are prejudice? What? Brigham Young was a jerk?”

U

We live in a day where a lot of people are very concerned about priesthood issues. I don’t mean to oversimplify – that matters – but it’s really not as hard as we’re making it.

“Brother Wilcox, how come the blacks didn’t received the priesthood until 1978? What’s with that? Was Brigham Young racist? What’s with that?” Oh, you’ll hear a lot of things, but maybe we’re asking the wrong questions.

A

Now, sadly, you live in a time where a lot of people get uptight about priesthood issues. It’s one of the most glorious things we have in the church, and yet people want to sit and fight about it and get uptight about it. Now, I don’t mean to oversimplify a complex issue, but I sure think we make it a little harder than it needs to be. “How come the blacks didn’t get the priest until 1978? What’s up with that, Brother Wilcox? What? Brigham Young was a jerk? Members of the Church were prejudiced?” Maybe we’re asking the wrong question.


G

I mean, you’ll hear a lot of things, but maybe we’re asking the wrong question. Maybe instead of asking, “Why didn’t the black get the priesthood until ’78?”, we should be asking, “Why didn’t everybody else have to get it before 1829?” I mean, why did they have to wait until 1829 to have the priesthood restored? And why didn’t the Gentiles get the gospel and the priesthood until after the Jews? And why, in ancient Israel, did only the Levites have the priesthood and not everybody else? See, when we put it in that context, then instead of being grumpy and mad, we can be thankful; thankful that the priesthood was extended to somebody beside a bloodline; thankful that the priesthood was given to the Gentiles; thankful that the priesthood was restored in 1829; and thankful right down to our socks that the Blacks received the priesthood in 1978. we can feel thankful.

U

“Why didn’t the blacks get the priesthood until 1978”? Why didn’t the whites get priesthood until 1829? 1,829 years they waited for the priesthood to be restored. And why didn’t Gentiles get the gospel until after the Jews? And why didn’t anybody but the tribe of Levi get the priesthood in the days of Jacob? See, when we looked at it like that, then instead of trying to figure out God’s timeline, maybe we can just be grateful. Grateful that the Gentiles received the gospel, grateful that the priesthood was restored in 1829, and grateful right down to our socks that the blacks received the priesthood in 1978. Grateful.

A

Maybe instead of saying, “Why did the Blacks have to wait until 1978?”, maybe what we should be asking is “Why did the whites and other races have to wait until 1829?” 1,829 years they waited. And why did the Gentiles have to wait until after the Jews? And why did everybody in the House of Israel except the tribe of Levi have to wait until —

when you look at it like that, then instead of trying to feel like you have to figure out God’s timeline, we can just be grateful. Grateful right down to our socks that the blacks received the priesthood in ’78. Grateful, right down to our socks that Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery had the priest to restore to them in 1829. Maybe we should just feel grateful.


Women and the Priesthood

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“Yeah, well how come the girls don’t have a priesthood? Like, what’s up with that, brother Wilcox? What? Girls are second class citizens? What? Girls don’t matter? What they do in the Church doesn’t count?” Now, I know there’s a lot of voices that are pretty loud, but just because they’re loud doesn’t make them right.

U

“Yeah, but how come the women don’t have the priesthood?”

A

“Yeah, but, Brother Wilcox, how come the girls don’t have the priesthood? I mean, that’s what I want to know. How come the girls don’t have the priesthood? What’s up with that?” Girls, you’re going to hear a lot of people say a lot of things, and many of them say them with very angry voices, but just because somebody’s angry doesn’t necessarily make him or her right. Just because somebody’s loud doesn’t necessarily make him or her right.


I went to a professional conference once. I had a little badge once. It said “Brad Wilcox, Brigham Young University” Some Lady I’ve never even met comes up, she reads my tag, and she’s like “Oh Brigham Young… (gasp) (Shouting) WHY DON’T YOU GIVE THE PRIESTHOOD TO THE WOMEN??” Just like that. Just like, bite my head off. I said, “Good to meet you, too”, and then I asked her a question, I said, “What’s ‘priesthood’?”, and she said, “Well, I don’t know, but I think the women should have it.”

“I don’t know, but the women should have it”? Seriously? Just because her voice is loud, I’m going to let it drown out my testimony? No.

I was at a professional conference for BYU. I had a name tag. It said, “Brad Wilcox, Brigham Young University”. Some lady walked up to me that I didn’t even know. Some lady walked up to me that I didn’t even know, she sees my name tag. And she’s like, “Oh, (shouting) WHY DON’T YOU GIVE WOMEN THE PRIESTHOOD?” , just like that. And I said, “Good to meet you, too.” And then I asked, “What’s the priesthood?”, and she said, “…Well, I don’t know, but I think the women should have it”. Seriously? “I don’t know, but the women should have it”? What’s, malaria? “I don’t know, but the women should have it”.

I mean, I’m going to let her voice, that’s very shallow, drown out my testimony just because she’s loud? No way.

I went to a professional conference. Had a name tag on it, it said, “Brad Wilcox, Brigham Young University”. Some lady comes up, she sees my name tag, and she goes, (yelling) “…Why don’t you give women the priesthood?!” Just like that. I said, “Good to meet you, too”. Then I said, “What’s the priesthood?” She said, “I don’t know, but I think the women should have it”. Seriously? “I don’t know, but the women should have it”? I mean, I’m going to let her voice, just because it’s loud and all over social media, I’m going to let that brown out my testimony? No way. Maybe we’re asking the wrong questions.


Please remember, sisters, that you have access to every priesthood blessing. There’s not one priesthood blessing that sisters have denied. And you function with priesthood authority when you are set apart in a calling, when you’re set apart as a missionary. “What boys want real missions and girls going fake ones”? No. When you’re set apart, you are functioning with priesthood authority. You are an authorized representative. And when you go to temples, you’re endowed with priesthood power, and you dress in priesthood robes.

Sisters, listen very closely. You have access to every priesthood blessing. There’s not one priesthood blessing that you are denied. And you serve with priesthood authority. When you are set apart in a calling or as a missionary, you serve with priesthood authority. Men don’t serve “real missions” and women serve “faith missions”. No, they are authorized representatives of Jesus Christ, men and women, because the sisters have been set apart. And sisters, you are endowed in your temples with priesthood power and you dress in priesthood robes.

Girls, listen closely, because I don’t know that you’ll ever have somebody explain it quite this point blank again. You have access to every priesthood blessing. There is not one priesthood blessing that you are denied. And you serve with priesthood authority. When you are set apart in a class presidency or you’re set apart as a missionary or in any calling in the church, you serve with priesthood authority. You will go to temples where you will be endowed with priesthood power, and you will dress in priesthood robes.


So what is it that sisters don’t have? Well, ecclesiastical keys and ordination.

So what is it you’re missing? Two things, keys and your missing ordination.

So what is it that women don’t have? Two things:

  • One, priesthood keys and
  • two, priesthood ordination.

Well, what are keys? Keys are an organizational structure; it keeps us organized. And not every man has keys. How many men in award have keys? The Spirit is whispering… The Spirit is whispering… Four. Who are they? Bishop, Elder’s Quorum President, Teacher’s Quorum President, Deacon’s Quorum President.

First, let’s talk about keys. Keys are an organizational structure. It’s the authority to preside over ordinances. And women don’t have the same thing that most men in the church don’t have. Most men in the Church don’t have keys. How many men in a ward have priesthood keys? The Spirit is whispering… The Spirit is whispering… Four! Yes. And who are they? And tomorrow the bishop, elder’s quorum president, teacher’s quorum president, and Deacons quorum president.

“Well, how come women don’t have priesthood keys?” Well, how come most men in the church don’t have priesthood keys? Priesthood keys are an organizational structure. It’s how God’s house is a house of order. And so not everybody needs them; just those who are part of this organizational structure. So how many men in a ward have priesthood keys?

The Spirit is whispering… The Spirit is whispering… (shouting) Four! You knew it! You knew it. I’m so proud of you. Let’s name them:

  • The Bishop
  • The Elder’s Quorum President
  • The Teacher’s Quorum President, and
  • The Deacon’s Quorum President.

See, the problem we get into is that we’re mixing up “keys” with “influence”, as if nobody without keys can have an influence in the church. Now, that’s not the case. Surely, sisters, there are some of you who have much more influence in this church than a Deacon’s Quorum President. Surely there are some of you who have great influence in the Church. So never — We want we you to have influence in the family, in the church, in the community and the government and business. We need that influence spread as far as it can be spread. So please don’t limit your influence to a position that has keys.

So please don’t mix up keys with influence. Surely there are women in the church who have much more influence than a deacon’s quorum president. See, women have all the influence that they possibly can have. 

So girls, don’t mix keys up with influence. We’re certainly not saying the only ones who have influence in the church are the Bishop, the Elder’s Quorum President, the Teacher’s Quorum President, and the Deacon’s Quorum President. Surely there are others at all levels of the Church who have great influence without having keys. So don’t mix those up; don’t think that that’s something that’s needed to be able to make a difference.


The other thing that sisters don’t have is ordination. “Well, how come girls aren’t ordained to the priesthood?” Again, maybe we’re asking the wrong question. Maybe the question we should be asking is, “Why don’t they need to be?”

So what is it that women carry with them from a premortal life that men learn through priesthood ordination? Maybe that’s the question we should be standing up at night pondering, and maybe that’s the one we ought to be thinking about instead of, “Why aren’t women ordained?” Maybe we ought to be thinking about the other question.

Now, why aren’t women ordained to the priesthood? Again, maybe we’re asking the wrong question. Maybe the question we should ask is, “Why don’t they need to be?”

So maybe the question we should be asking is, “What do women bring wisdom from the premortal life that men learn through ordination?” Maybe that’s the question. They should keep us up at night.

What else don’t women have? Priesthood ordination. They’re not ordained to the priesthood. “Well, how come they’re not ordained to the priesthood?” Maybe we’re asking the wrong question. Maybe we should be asking, “Why don’t they need to be”.

So what is it that sisters are bringing with them from a premortal life that men are trying to learn through ordination? Maybe that’s the question that ought to be keeping us up at night.


Sisters, how many of you have ever gone into a temple and performed ordinances? Okay, hold your hands high. Baptisms, endowments, sealings… Yeah. Now keep your hands up. Keep your hands up. Do you realize that you have done something that no man on this Earth can do? There is no male on this Earth that can do what you’ve done. They can’t go into the temple – you can put your hands down now – unless they’ve been ordained, and yet you can.

Sisters, how many of you have ever gone into a temple to perform ordinances? Raise your hands. Raise them high. Do you realize that you are doing something that no man in the church can do? There’s not a man in the church that can walk into that temple to perform ordinances if he hasn’t been ordained, and yet you waltz right in.

Girls, how many of you have ever entered a temple to perform ordinances? Raise your hands high. Raise them high. Do you realize that you have done something that no man on this Earth can do? There is not a male on this planet who can enter a temple to perform ordinances without being ordained, and yet you just waltz right in. You just walk right in.


Work for the Dead

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and E? E stands for “Everyone”! The Gospel is for everyone. And we’re the only church in the world that offers it to everyone. Not just because we have missionaries, but because we have temples. We literally offer the Gospel to everyone who’s ever been born on this planet through the work that we do in temples.

A

E? E stands for “everyone”. The gospel is for everyone, and we’re the only ones who invite others to receive the gospel through missionary work, and even those who have passed away and not had it. They can even receive the gospel in temples.


Now the whole world has a problem; Christianity has a problem. You have to accept Jesus to be saved, and yet so many people on this planet had never even heard his name? Boy, that’s a problem. We’re the only ones with the solution, not just the solution doctrinally like “God will take care of that one day”, we have a solution that we know about right now. We have a solution that we believe in enough to donate hours, man and women hours of volunteer service, and we build temples, we donate money to build them so that we can work that solution. Now that sets us apart. That makes us different. And that is good news indeed.

Man, Christianity has a problem. A huge problem. Jesus said, “Get baptized or you’re not going to heaven”, and yet most people in the world have never even heard the name of Jesus Christ, let alone been baptized. That’s a problem. Do you realize we’re part of the only Church that has the solution? The solution to that problem? Offering an opportunity, not forcing anyone, but offering an opportunity to everyone to receive the very ordinances that Jesus said are essential to their Salvation and progress.

Wow. I don’t know about you, but I like being part of the solution. There’s enough problems in the world. I like being part of the solution. You want to walk away from the church? Walk away from temples? And I don’t want to walk away from temples, because that’s where not only can we find Salvation, but we can offer it to everyone. And I love that.


Walking Away With Chopsticks

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So you want to leave the Church? You want to take off? Say goodbye to your view of the Godhead. Say goodbye to your relationship with God. Suddenly you just have to worship a higher power, somewhere in the universe. Say goodbye to that close relationship that you understand and value, because you only find that here. That’s it. You won’t need the Church? Fine. Say goodbye to the complete keyboard. Play Chopsticks the rest of your life. Have at it.

A

You walk away from the Church, say goodbye to the whole piano. Have fun playing Chopsticks the rest of your life. I don’t want to play Chopsticks the rest of my life. I want to play like Jackson. And to do that, you have to have the whole piano.