This is what it would take for me to re-join the church

Let’s talk about 1 Kings 18.

There had been a 3 year drought and there was almost no food at all. The Lord told Elijah to go talk to King Ahab (who worshipped the god Baal). King Ahab was so desperate he had sent scouts out to look for grass to feed his livestock. Things were not going well.

One of the scouts, Obadiah (who also worshipped Elohim), recognized and met Elijah while scouting. He asked Elijah what they had done to offend God to deserve the drought. Obadiah begged Elijah to talk to King Ahab and he agreed to.

When King Ahab saw Elijah (who wasn’t supposed to be in the area), he called him a trouble maker. They didn’t like each other because Elijah worshipped Elohim and Ahab worshipped Baal. Elijah proposed that he and the 450 priests of Baal have a barbecue contest to prove which god is the real god. They’d each pray to their god to ask them to ignite a pile of wood that had steak on it.

The priests of Baal danced, shouted, and prayed, but Baal did not answer. Elijah was a cocky son of a bitch and told them that Baal might be thinking, be busy, traveling, or sleeping, and maybe if they prayed louder that he would hear them. The Baal priests prayed louder and started cutting themselves with swords to make a blood sacrifice to Baal. Basically a whole day had passed and Baal obviously wasn’t going to answer.

Elijah rebuilt an altar to Elohim that had been torn down, dug a trench around the altar, and then put the wood on the altar and the steak on top of it. But he wasn’t done – Elijah was a cocky mother fucker. He decided to completely drench the wood with 12 barrels of water. With a single prayer, he asked God to change the unbelievers hearts with a sign by lighting the wood on fire.

A HUGE fire came down from the heavens! It burned the steak, the wet wood, the stones, and evaporated all 12 barrels of water that were in the trench.

Elijah told Ahab to go celebrate because the drought had ended. A little while later, Elijah told Ahab to go home otherwise the weather would prevent him from getting there.

It was pretty obious which god was real, so all the Baal followers followed Elohim.


Let’s talk about Mosiah 27

Alma the younger (son of the prophet), and the 4 sons of Mosiah (the king) did not believe in the church. They were against it teachings and vocally told everyone why they didn’t believe. Alma the elder prayed to Elohim to make them believe. Eventually, Elohim couldn’t put up with it anymore and sent an angel who angrily rebuked them, so much so that the ground shook. They knew they had fucked up and that the church was true. Alma had sleep parallisis for 3 full days.

All 5 of them decided to turn their lives around and become missionaries.


Let’s talk about Alma 3.

People had freedom of religion and could believe whatever they wanted and would not be punished for disbelief. They were only punished for tangible crimes.

Korihor believed there was no Elohim or Christ. He also believed that prophesy wasn’t real, they were just traditional stories. He believed that any success and failure you have in life was due to your own merits. He believed there was no afterlife. He beleived that the idea of atonement and sin is a way to keep people in line, and that the church leaders were benefitting off of this and no one was brave enough to call them out of it. He believed that if all of what the church said were true, there would be signs and evidence given. He believed that there wasn’t any evidence, and that people looked for little things (like finding your car keys) for evidence. He was willing to change his beliefs if he had evidence.

Many people thought he made some good points. However, there were people who didn’t like what he beleived so they tied him up and kidnapped him and brought him to Ammon, who was essentially the Bishop. He was let go, but he was tied up and kidnapped again and brought to Giddonah, the judge of the land who also happened to be a bishop as well. Giddonah belittled his beliefs many times and preached his own beliefs to Korihor. Korihor remained unmoved by the sermon which upset Giddonah and sent him (as a prisoner) to Alma who was the chief Judge and also basically the prophet. Korihor kept expressing his beleifs to people, which upset Alma. He asked if he believed if the church was true and if there is a God, and Korihor said no to both.

He said there was no evidence. He said that if he had a sign that he would believe. Alma said he had the scriptures and prophets to believe and that he was tempting God by asking for a sign and God would smite him for this. Korihor didn’t care; he wanted the sign. Alma obliged him and struck Korihor dumb. Korihor was given his sign and believed.


Also, the chapter heading for D&C 84 summarizes verses 62-76 nicely:

They (the saints) are to preach the gospel, and signs will follow

These are very compelling stories for me. It shows that if Elohim is put to the test, he follows through. He makes it known he’s real and he’s the most powerful god. There is a precedent for me to ask for a heavenly sign and be given it. If I were to be given a sign like the priests of Baal, Alma the Younger, and Korihor, I would 100% join the church again. I would even pay the tithing I missed since I stopped paying it.


So here it is: I challenge you, Elohim, whether by your own power or by the power of your servants, to give me a sign that you/the church are real and true.

I’ll let you all know if/when that sign comes.


I would also re-join if we found 10,000,000 Nephite bodies