Mormonism is a cornerstone of my life, as is spirituality. For years I’ve wanted a healthy Mormon spiritual community. I’ve wanted a place where I can discuss things like theology and philosophy with folks who have a similar background as me. I want to have a community where I know and care about what’s going on in peoples’ lives and they know and care about what’s going on in mine and we are committed to growing as people.
I thought that Community of Christ could be that community for me, so I dove into it pretty deeply for a couple months. I loved how they are actively still progressing as a people; women and LGBT have full rights to the priesthood, they don’t mandate your views in regards to things like scriptures (and many have non-literalistic interpretations), they celebrate earth day and have being eco-conscientious in their D&C, they gave up the “one true church” mantra, they have open communion, do communion over video call, do ordinations over video call, and their motto is literally “peace”. These are wonderful things that showed me that this is a church that is continually evolving. In addition, I loved the day-to-day and week-to-week community that they’ve built. There are meditations, lectures, outreach to ex-LDS folks, retreats, a digital choir, LGBT-specific groups, podcasts, apostles who are actively engaged in their community (I’m FB with like 3), and all sorts of stuff like that. I felt very welcomed for the 3 months that I was joining in on it and made some real friendships.
However, I decided to not join for 2 reasons: outdated traditions and a “boys’ club”. There are many who seem resistant to change, no matter how small. Additionally, there are certain things you have to be, do, and say in order to join the priesthood, which I don’t agree with. It got to the point where I didn’t think Community of Christ was right for me.
I decided to try making my own Mormon-based spiritual community (Universal Mormon Church) back in August. Its really only been like 3 of us with a couple of other folks filtering in and out. We’ve had a great time talking theology, philosophy, and getting to know each other a bit. Its taught me a lot about how churches operate, how they can fill the needs of the people, how tricky it is balancing the wants of the majority with the needs of a minority, and how policies may be developed.
However, I don’t think Universal Mormon Church is really fulfilling the spiritual community needs I have. For example, the biggest video call we ever had was 5 people, and we only had 3 people who regularly came (including myself); some weeks it was just 2 of us and other weeks I just canceled because no one showed up. This hasn’t been what I have been looking for.
I have been left at a bit of an impasse, and as I see it, I have 2 choices:
- Keep going with Universal Mormon Church in hopes that one day it becomes that community that I am seeking
- Join Community of Christ, which is close but not exactly what I need, and advocate for the changes I want to see (and they may even happen)
I decided to reach out to a couple of my Community of Christ friends and get an opinion. I was told a couple things:
- If I joined Community of Christ I could have my records be in the Toronto, Canada congregation (IMO the most socially and theologically liberal congregation in the church). They use the internet to do things like church services, choir, communion, and any and all administrative meetings. They’ve really embraced using technology to reach people and build a better church.
- If I felt a call to priesthood, despite not meeting all of the typical requirements, Toronto would ordain me anyway. I was told that they would be willing to put the congregation into a state of “Faithful Disagreement”, which is essentially when a person/congregation/mission center decides to not recognize a church headquarters policy or doctrine.
I was dumbstruck a couple days ago. Every point of contention I had with Community of Christ just… dissolved. The answer, to me, became obvious which community I would like to be a part of long-term: Community of Christ. It practically meets every requirement I laid out in my post “What would you need from a healthy Mormon spiritual community?”. Additionally, the Toronto congregation is willing to go above and beyond for me, and challenges church headquarters to do the same. They were the ones who led the charge on allowing tele-communion church-wide, and they succeeded. That opened up the door to tele-confirmation and even tele-baptism! I am excited to become a part of a community that is theologically innovating to become more welcoming, inclusive, and accessible.
However, I felt embarrassed that I started Universal Mormon Church, and then turn around and abandon it; I didn’t want to be seen as a flip-flopper. My wife, as always, gave me some great advice. She asked me if I look down on Ex-LDS folks for leaving the LDS church when they learn new information. I told her “no”. She asked what was holding me back from allowing myself that same liberty. I told her I was worried about how I would be perceived by others, and she asked if that was just my pride getting in the way of my happiness. I was surprised at how elegantly and kindly she asked it. It was a lightbulb moment for me. That WAS what I was doing.
I am thankful for the folks I got to know better through Universal Mormon Church, especially /u/TheJawaKnight and /u/TheUnknower2. I am thankful for the AWESOME theological and philosophical conversations that we had; I learned a lot! I am thankful I got a small taste of what its like to run a little congregation. I am thankful I have so many supportive friends that just want to see me be happy. I am thankful for a wife who is able to push me to follow my dreams. I am thankful that I have the humility to follow my dreams. I am thankful I have found a place that I believe is a healthy Mormon spiritual community, and I can be a part of it.
Thanks guys 🙂