Prophet-President of
Community of Christ
There has been a lot of celebration regarding Stassi Cramm’s ordination as Prophet-President of Community of Christ. Indeed, Josephite women have fought for generations to have their ministry officially recognized, and Cramm being ordained is a cause to celebrate the resiliency, leadership, and determination of women.
However, for me this celebration is tainted by my experiences with Stassi. On January 28th, 2023 she was a part of the First Presidency which specified that people in polyamorous families – such as myself – could not be in priesthood. I felt as if I was deemed a second-class citizen.
I knew that God had called me to be a Matriarch (Evangelist, in Josephite terms), and so this was troubling to me. I realized that this policy likely came from a place of ignorance about what it means to be polyamorous, and so I spent the next year creating educational materials to help educate Stassi, among other people. I authored The Polyamory Primer – a resource I printed and distributed to leaders, including Cramm – delivered a Sunstone presentation on being polyamorous, and appeared on Mormon Book Reviews to speak candidly about my experiences. I also reached out directly to Apostle Art Smith, who sits on the Theology Formation Team, and I appreciated his willingness to listen with empathy.
Despite my activism, I was met with only silence from Cramm and the First Presidency, and I came to realize that my spirituality had become centered upon trying to get an institution to live out their own espoused principles. Ultimately, in January of 2024 I sent the First Presidency (including Cramm) a letter saying I would like some sort of indication whether they were willing to speak to someone in the community that they had made an exclusionary policy about. Their silence indicated that they were unwilling, and so 2 years to the day that I had joined Community of Christ, I resigned from it. To this day I have not heard from them, and I don’t anticipate I ever will.
I have done my best to build community for myself and others like me – those of us who are labeled as second-class by even the more progressive Mormon churches, and I am glad that Reform Mormon has taken on the life that is has for us. I feel like I am happier and more at ease here.
Even so, the sting from how I was treated in Community of Christ remains, and with Community of Christ’s World Conference and Stassi Cramm’s ordination (which I watched live), these feelings have been dredged up again.
As I mentioned the other day, I was blindsided and disappointed to find out that Community of Christ’s Theology Formation Team had already chosen to affirm Cramm’s decision regarding polyamorous folks as early as October 2023, and no one told me. This was before I had even resigned from CoC. It reiterated they didn’t really care about me, people like me, or families like mine.
However, it goes beyond just this disappointing report: Stassi’s words seem to suggest that people like me are welcome. In an interview with Peggy Fletcher Stack, Stassi said things such as:
- God calls whom God calls
- We now feel like we’re poised for action, and that action needs to be contextualized. That means as we seek to bring about justice and restoration, we do it in ways that make sense in the culture where the people are serving.
- What does it really look like to empower the prophetic voice of the people?
- How do we hold ourselves accountable? Are we doing our part to try to move forward God’s vision in the world?
To me, Stassi’s words could not be more hollow. I had (and still have) a call from God, and she denied my ability to live this out. I tried to prophetically speak to her to contextualize her actions, but she wouldn’t listen. I tried to hold her accountable, but was ignored.
To my Queer family and friends – especially those of us who are polyamorous – I need you to know that Community of Christ will entice you with promises of acceptance and inclusion, but in practice drag their feet or outright prevent this from happening. I learned this though painful experience, and I wish to warn you about this, so you don’t have to endure this same pain.
I also want you to know that God really does call whom God calls, but Churches don’t always hear. You do not need the approval of an institutional religious hierarchy to have your spiritual call recognized and validated. You do not need to join a group that treats you as a second-class with the hope they will change their mind. Find and build community that recognizes these things now. If you are in need of community, reach out to me or the Reform Mormons and we’d love to either be your community or help you find one <3 You deserve to be respected and honored.