Hey Brandon <3 I am so sorry that I haven’t been very responsive. Your text and voicemail were very sweet and deeply meaningful to me. I ended up transcribing both of them and am keeping them in a folder of other meaningful life experiences that I’ve had <3 Right alongside things like blessing my dad gave me in 2012, the transcript of my wedding ceremony, and the eulogy I gave at Grandma’s funeral.
Truthfully, I am still a bit nervous talking to you after having come out, because I have seen others who hold your beliefs react negatively or even violently to trans family coming out. I honestly did not know how you would react or if we would be in each other’s lives after I came out.
However, you are my brother. You are my family. I would go to hell and back for you because of how much I love you. Hearing that you would do the same for me was more meaningful than you could know.
I am definitely sticking around for the long-haul. I have been studying the potential negative effects of HRT for about 2 years at this point. I am aware that I am now at an increased risk of breast cancer, osteoporosis, and blood clots. These are just things that I need to be cognizant of and watch out for. That being said, statistically speaking I am still at lower risk of these than cisgender women. On top of that, I am also now at significantly reduced risk of prostate cancer.
Luckily I am pretty content with my name, which has made that aspect of transitioning a non-issue for me. However, my roommate has called me Evalyn on occasion for many years and I love it! If you wanted to call me that, I would love it 🙂 I have thought about even legally changing my name to it but still going by “Evan”, but the name change process is a pain in the neck.
I also totally understand about the phrases “dude”, “homey” and “bro” being gender-neutral, cause I feel the same way. However, if you were to sprinkle in a sassy “girl” or “sis” every once in a I’d be over the moon.
It is unfortunate that I don’t feel safe here… I definitely know that there are even less safe places, but Idaho definitely tends to be on the less safe side for transgender folks. Every trans person that I know is actively working on moving out of state, because they don’t feel safe here and anticipate it to get worse both politically and culturally. The shooter at the mall in 2021 targeted the transgender security guard simply because she was transgender. My non-binary supervisor at work, who lives in California, pulled me aside on Thursday and asked how I was holding up because of everything that’s happening here. I am glad that you feel safe here, but the reality for me is that there is an element of risk for me here.
For the time being, I feel safe enough that I can stay. Trans kids not being able to use the bathroom at school is truly unfortunate, harrowing, and very nearly affects me, but the fact remains that these particular laws don’t affect me personally. If Idaho ends up taking another step which does affect me personally, I will likely have to accelerate my exodus from Idaho.
Now, all that said, I was able to get my house crisis under control! My front lawn was FLOODING, but we were able to get the water shut off and get it to drain pretty well. Though of course, just last week my washer went out so I had to invest in a new one.
How have you been? Is work starting to pick up? How’s Appa doing? 🙂 I would love to see you 2 sometime! Maybe the 4 of us go to dinner or something soon. I missed seeing you at Easter.
Again, I am so sorry it took me so long to respond to you. I love you bro!