Transcript
Ritual is a powerful way to help ensure that an entheogenic experience is a positive one. My first iteration of creating a uniquely Mormon entheogenic ritual was way back in September of 2019, and it was heavily based off of the Kirtland Endowments. My second iteration was posted in January of 2024, and was also heavily based off of the Kirtland Endowments, but this one had 21 pages of citations to support why I created the ceremony like I did.
However, I still felt like it was missing something. I thought back to when I went through the LDS Temple in 2014. In retrospect, I like the washing, anointing, new names, the creation story, interactive handshakes, and passing through the veil. It was all quite symbolic, and of course very uniquely Mormon, and I missed having it in my life. The Endowment has undergone many adaptions in order to align itself with the sect’s needs and beliefs at the time. I decided that there was no reason why I couldn’t adapt it to serve my needs and beliefs.
I gathered as many exposes and transcripts of the Endowment as I could find, read them all, and took note of what I thought were the important aspects of the ritual. Eventually, I developed my own transcript which I call “A Reform Mormon Endowment“. Within this transcript, I made 2 versions: a group Endowment and a solo Endowment. I recognize that I may be performing this endowment alone when I want to, and others may want something that they can do with themselves as well. I have made the transcript publicly available, but as a nod to the secrecy tradition involving the Endowment I have put most of the transcript into the Deseret Alphabet, so people will have to engage with Mormon tradition if they want to read it.
Perfuming Whiskey
One part I thought was important was having a perfuming cinnamon whiskey incorporated, as this was used in Kirtland as part of the anointing. This was pretty easy to make: I bought a small bottle of whiskey, took the label off, put 3 sticks of cinnamon in it, shook it every couple days, and just let it sit.
Its very important to get a whiskey that does not have added sugar, because sugar makes your skin sticky, which is not conducive to the spiritual entheogenic experience. I was able to find a couple of these pretty easy, but I decided on the one that had “Pioneer” in the name of the whiskey, for obvious reasons 😉
Clothing
I also wanted a set of ceremonial clothes for this ritual. I recognize that this includes the garments, robes, sash, apron, and cap/veil. However, I decided to slim all this down to just a white dress. I wanted something a little bit MORE on it, so I commissioned a friend to embroider on the garment/veil symbols sewn onto it.
Setting
My Reform Mormon Endowment only needs 2 rooms, and can really be performed anywhere. However, I wanted the first room to be extremely conducive for this purpose, and so I decorated a room in my house to serve this need when the time arises.
I work from home, so this room is my office most days, so it feels lovely having it decorated in this way. It reminds me how the 8-Fold Path of Buddhism teachings that right work is an important facet towards enlightenment, and it feels lovely being able to do my day job in a holy place.
I did a bit of a walk through of what my Temple room looked like when it was prepared for the Endowment.
Veil
Additionally, I needed a veil to perform the tokens through. My mother is a pretty decent seamstress, so I recruited her to help me make it. We had considered buying fabric and creating one entirely from scratch, but she mentioned that what I wanted was essentially a curtain. We ended up buying a curtain and a tension curtain rod and it worked perfect.
We then cut off a couple inches from the bottom of the curtain and used the fabric to make the symbols on the veil. This ended up becoming an entire family effort to make sure it looked right.
Part of the veil is typically a small mallet which is struck against a bell or pipe of some sort. I tried to find something similar to this, but then realized that a small singing bowl would be able to do the same thing and was very portable. I decided to get a plain silver one, as this is typically the color in the Brighamite Temples.
Performance
I had a friend who had never had entheogens before who wanted to partake in this Endowment with me. We talked about it a couple months beforehand where we talked about expectations, mindset, and dosage. I also gave her a plain-English version of the transcript, because I wanted her to go into the ritual with her eyes entirely wide open.
We scheduled for her to come to Boise from November 1st-3rd, and we performed the Endowment on the 2nd, which ended up being a very rainy day with thunderstorms in Boise. We performed it, and it was such a lovely experience. I took a talk gram of psilocybin mushrooms, and she took 2 grams. This dosage made it so she wasn’t intimidated, but she was also able to see reality from a different perspective and reclaim her Mormonism in a way that was meaningful for her. She was particularly thankful that this version of the Endowment didn’t include penalties or the signs that went with them, as the last Endowment she performed was in 1989 which had those.
My friend spent a lot of time kinda clammed up under a sensory blanket. I would check on her ever 20 minutes or so to make sure she was doing okay, and she always was. Once she wanted to tell me what she was experiencing, but she struggled to articulate it. All that she was able to say to me was that “the music is coming from inside”. I told her that when I was a child I was frustrated when the scriptures said things like “and it was too holy to describe”, but now I get it. I told her that before she cocooned up again under her blanket that her body would appreciate some water, and she sipped a bit. As she was just going back in I reminded her to have fun, and she chuckled a bit.
I was able to give her a Matriarchal blessing to help bridge the gap of what she wanted out of the experience and what she had, and this helped her a lot with how she wanted to move forward in life. The three words I used to describe it were “wholeness”, “serenity”, and “healing”.
One thing that was noteworthy for me, is I was quite nervous to perform this, and ended up skipping a part and doing another out of order. However, this didn’t matter; the spiritual experience were were looking for was achieved.
Conclusion
In all, this experience was very meaningful. The Endowment ritual has been compared to the Jewish Bar/Bat Mitzvah, as it is typically done as a right of passage indicating you are an adult that is now fully integrated into the faith community.
I have been handed a wonderful tradition, and I love that I have the ability to re-interpret it to fit my and my community’s needs. I would encourage everyone to reclaim their Mormonism and allow it to be used as a took for personal progression and fulfillment.